Dainichi> Yar. Always check waterbottles before you drink them.
Lyme> got the urine one again, huh?

Lyme> oh, wikipedia, I love you. Let's get married and not have babies.
* Lyme hugs wikipedia until stubs come out.

GypsyJr> MMkay, conversion has finally reached the burning phase.
GypsyJr> ... which sounds like an STD.
ChiDoll> it's not oozing puss yet, though (ew, i grossed myself out)
GypsyJr> ah, #nhp. I've missed you.

Mikey> Roach's bailbonds... all IPS students get discounts, bond 4 times and get a t-shirt!

Lyme> oh great
Lyme> more weirdos IMing me
Lyme> RamenIsFunToEat (11:31:37 PM): lady <-- WTF?
Lyme> also cause at first I misread ramen as ramon.

Dainichi> Schizo Anarhist is fubby.
Dainichi> Also difficult to spell.

GypsyJr> I just ordered vegan haggis online.
GypsyJr> And there is nothing about that sentence that does not amuse me.
* GypsyJr snerks
GypsyJr> The same site also sells vegan caviar
GypsyJr> Wonder if it's made from real vegans

Motemeal> It's supposed to smell like floating cartoon flowers whenever my cat goes, but it really doesnt

HyperKinetic> I left my heart in Trout
Lyme> Where'd you leave your liver?
HyperKinetic> In Las Vegas
Lyme> cause I know this guy who is willing to pay good money
Lyme> oh well fuck that it's debauched to hell and back by now

Lyme> I like how they advertise the new ipod nano
Lyme> 5 gigs of space for $200
Lyme> bitch, I can get an iriver for probably $50 more with 4 times the space
Lyme> fuck that, for $200 I can probably get a 300 gig HD for my c ompy
Lyme> and then I can download and store wads and wads of porn.
Lyme> I mean
Lyme> movies
Lyme> yeah

Lyme> Chi, I have something very important to tell you
ChiDoll> >.> ?
Lyme> I'M PREGNANT AND IT'S YOURS.'

Mikey> dude if i shake my head really fast I think I can hear my brain move

Lyme> so wtf
Lyme> that is what not eating anything besides a cup of fucking yogurt for 24 hours does to you
Lyme> and man, eating that yogurt hurt so bad I cried
Lyme> but I have vicodin now
Lyme> and I took som
Lyme> e
Lyme> cause THEY'rE YUMMY.
Fraggle> Heh
Fraggle> High as a kite?
* ChiDoll petpets Lymeypantsu :/
Lyme> oh hell no
Lyme> it'd prolly take a few of them to do that to me

[...five minutes later...]

Lyme> Dear Wikipedia:
Lyme> Baby, I loved you. I still love you! I will always love you, for you are teh awesome. But right now, we need some time apart. I need to find myself! Don't take this brief but intense love affair I have started with Vicodin too hard, for I will be back to love you another day! Love, Lyme.
ChiDoll> O.o
Lyme> (okay maybe a leeeettle high)

[...and a little while later...]

Lyme> Dude, I am not high.
Lyme> I realise that starting that sentence off with 'dude' probably does not make it more believable
Lyme> I'm still kind of 'lol vicodin, they're YUMMY!'
Lyme> someone get me a cane
Lyme> and a gimpy walk
Lyme> no stubble tho plz.
Lyme> or satiny bras.

Lyme> CRAZY GRANNIES ARE AWESOME
HyperKinetic> Lyme is a crazy granny
Lyme> Not yet
Lyme> but in about 40 years
Lyme> assuming I live that long
Fraggle> I hope I turn into my grandma. The snarky one, not the nosey one
Lyme> shootin squirrels off the back porch
Fraggle> Beating the shit out of owls with a pringles can
Lyme> O RLY?
Lyme> (pun intended)
Fraggle> YA RLY
Lyme> I have not heard this one
HyperKinetic> I hope I turn into my grandma... wait, no I don't... she's still alive and powered by pure evil
Fraggle> Yeah. She let her kitten out and an owl swooped down trying to get it for dinner.
HyperKinetic> I think she feeds off the souls of her relatives
Lyme> isn't that true of all hispanic grandmas tho?
Fraggle> Grandma hobbled over and beat the crap out of it with the nearest thing she could find which was a pringles can
HyperKinetic> No, my other grandma was ok
* Lyme doesn't imagine pringles cans are that sturdy for beatings
HyperKinetic> Once you pop, you can't stop
Fraggle> Yeah, but if you're an owl, do you really expect to get bludgeoned with one?
HyperKinetic> LOL
Lyme> I suppose I should rephrase that, though, cause it seems like everyone I've known who is hispanic has had at least one psycho granma
Lyme> does ANYONE ever expect to get bludgeoned by a pringles can?
Fraggle> She fed two raccoons a whole container of extra strength exlax
HyperKinetic> *Monty Python* Nobody expects the pringles can!
HyperKinetic> LOL, why Fraggle?
Lyme> as a random observation, when I was little I used to think that tennis ball cans were pringles cans cause they're the same shape, I remember being in a department store once and opening one expecting to find pringles nad being all disappointed.
Fraggle> They wouldn't stop eating the food she left out for the birds and the stray cats
Lyme> WHY NOT?
Fraggle> They never showed up again
Lyme> LOL
Fraggle> Probably pooped themselves inside out
Lyme> crapped themselves inside out
Lyme> ASDGHASDH
Lyme> dammit
Fraggle> She only resorted to that after the Tabasco didn't work
* HyperKinetic laughs
Fraggle> They'd eat part of the cat food, it'd get hot, and they'd throw sand on their face before chowing back down on the rest
Lyme> lol
Fraggle> I so want to be like that when I get old

Lyme> yay lewis black on comedy central
Lyme> talkin about santa pokin his ass into halloween
ChiDoll> i wonder if Santa's ass is red or fuzzy white
* ChiDoll pretends she didn't wonder that. *shiftyeyes*
GypsyJr> .....
GypsyJr> well that's a nice image to come back to
ErynTzun> what mine?
GypsyJr> I mean mental image
GypsyJr> didn't need to be thinking about Santa's ass, thanks
ChiDoll> xD
* ChiDoll is glad to be supplying (and recieving) disturbing MIs again. :D
ErynTzun> I think of Santa's ass I think of all the freaky looking Santa's people made in COX at Xmas.
GypsyJr> "Santa's ass" and "COX" should not be in the same sentence.
GypsyJr> No matter what the context

ErynTzun> They made the box for these kitty treats too good, it's making ME hungry for snacks.

TIL> There was one guy at the party last night, who was the human door mat. Loves getting trampled. He had lots of ladies walk on him, literally.

* Mikey random quote "If god didn't mean for it to happen, then why did he shape it like a taco"

Dainichi> Note to self: punching own boobies does not relieve pain.
ChiDoll> mrrp o.O
Dainichi> I was bored.
Dainichi> And they're right there.

ErynTzun> It looks like Yora-SAMA is miming Street Fighter at one point or Hadoukin
SnakesOnAKeyboard> the worst part is the makeup makes your face sweat, and you can't itch it or touch it or anything like that
SnakesOnAKeyboard> oh, yeah, one of the charades was Son Goku
SnakesOnAKeyboard> so he did the whole kamehameha
ErynTzun> ahhh
SnakesOnAKeyboard> there was one that was great
SnakesOnAKeyboard> the answer was 'tampa' so he kept pointing down and one of the girls on his team who was like, 10 said 'pants?' and then he indicated the whole audience and she goes 'All of our pants?'
SnakesOnAKeyboard> which is like, right up there with something stupid I'd say
SnakesOnAKeyboard> 'this is my invisible friend' 'WHERE?'

Lyme> oookay
Lyme> I am finding weird notes again
Lyme> this one has got to be at least 5 years old, given where I found it
Lyme> but I have no idea what 'the great goosini is the smartest goose in the world!' is supposed to mean

Dainichi> I totally reitterate that DDR was sent to us from Japan by our future Robot Overlords to weed out the best slaves
* Dainichi for one, welcomes our new robot masters

Lyme> 'Hermes is a rastafarian accountant' 'Tally me banana!'
Lyme> that line never ceases to amuse me

Evan> ThinkGeek should make a much-needed internet gag gift: the USB-powered Jailbait Alarm.
Evan> Triggered by certain words in IRC and messager programs.
Evan> Like "teehee", "asl", and any numbers <18.
Evan> Big-ass red rotating light and an automated voice screaming "jailbait alert!".

* HighFructoseCornSyrup lurks to shower and pee, not in that order.
Evan> Pee in the shower?
Fraggle> Pee in the shower.
Evan> Who doesn't.
Fraggle> It'll cure any budding athlete's foot
Fraggle> My grandma watched dirty jobs earlier
Fraggle> I was amazed, she liked it.
Fraggle> Although they weren't doing anything truly disgusting in the one she saw. No anal gland pinching or playing in poo.
HighFructoseCornSyrup> peeing on them will also take the sting out of insect bites.
Fraggle> Seriously?
HighFructoseCornSyrup> anyway, man, for a shampoo that claims to be over 98% natural ingredients, you'd think it'd taste better.
Fraggle> Never knew that one
Fraggle> Heh
HighFructoseCornSyrup> I know it works with jellyfish bites and it's helped me with insect bites before.
Fraggle> That last 2% is ass flavor
HighFructoseCornSyrup> don't ask why I tasted my shampoo.
HighFructoseCornSyrup> Just know that I'm special like that
HighFructoseCornSyrup> actually I think it's already a proven fact that I like to put things in my mouth that don't belong there and I know you're all going to pervert that anyway, ya perverts.
HighFructoseCornSyrup> I wonder if my shampoo had high fructose corn syrup in it.
HighFructoseCornSyrup> my tooth hurts.
HyperKinetic> I doubt it
HighFructoseCornSyrup> I'm pretty sure sensitive teeth toothpaste isn't supposed to make your teeth burn.
HighFructoseCornSyrup> on the other hand, I can now touch my tooth without the sensation going all the way down to the goddamn nerve.
Fraggle> I've tasted all the various types of pet food we've bought >_>
HighFructoseCornSyrup> that's pet food though, everybody tries that.
Fraggle> I've still yet to taste the fruit loop smelling bird food my neighbor buys
HyperKinetic> I must say I've never eaten pet food
HighFructoseCornSyrup> HEATHEN.
Fraggle> I've not eaten it, just tasted
It all tastes rather icky
* HighFructoseCornSyrup shoves a funnel down hyper's craw and forcefeeds kibbles n bits

HighFructoseCornSyrup> when I burp, it tastes like meat.

Twinslie> rewkfjhqlwkjshl d
Twinslie> I'm FICKING HOMe
Twinslie> fucking*

Fraggle> I wonder why they don't make dog treats in cat poo flavor

ErynTzun> Puppies + ice cream = flamethrowers
Lyme> I LOVE MATH

Lyme> you know, I've always been quite the pervert, but when did I turn into a damn lech?
Fraggle> I dunno. I blame the internet
Lyme> yeah I blame the internet too
Lyme> either that or it's PONFARR
Fraggle> Heh
Lyme> I SWEAR
Fraggle> Once every seven years you turn into a lech?
Lyme> well, yeah, except it's probably every 7 months, that's a bit more realistic time scale.
Lyme> I just wake up one day and go
Lyme> HOLY SHIT I'M GONNA OGLE ME SOME MENFOLK TODAY

Fraggle> Rarg. I have this weird craving for Orangina.
Fraggle> Only publix sells it but I'm not driving 30 minutes for fizzy orange juice
Lyme> orangina sounds so dirty.
Lyme> but I am a pervert.
Fraggle> Yeah, that's what I thought at first too
Fraggle> "Hee, that sounds like vagina!"
Lyme> orange vagina
Fraggle> It's weird tasting at first but then it grows on you. Like syphilis.

Fraggle> To most people I'm boring, really
Lyme> that's cause most people aren't geeks
Fraggle> The only substances I abuse are caffiene and sugar, my idea of a good Friday night is spent on the computer gaming or talking, and letting loose involves conventions and silly costumes
* Lyme abuses caffiene SO DAMN HARD
Lyme> SO HARD CAFFIENE IS GETTING A RESTRAINING ORDER
Lyme> C'MON BABY I ONLY HIT YOU BECAUSE I LOVE YOU
Fraggle> You ever have so much caffiene it makes you paranoid and jumpy?
Lyme> I don't need caffiene to be paranoid and jumpy, that's my natural state
Fraggle> I'll down a bottle of mountain dew or what have you and come midnight I swear the aliens are out to get me or something equally bizarre
Lyme> oh, that used to happen to me when I would watch sightings when I was like, 11.
Fraggle> I watched that show as a kid too. I blame it for all my UFO dreams
Lyme> I would SWEAR for the rest of the night that aliens were peering in my window
Fraggle> YES >_<
Lyme> one time I was watching it and my mom came and tapped on the window from outside
Fraggle> I have an overly active imagination and I would see faces in smudges on the window
Lyme> THAT DID NOT HELP.

Fraggle> I get claustrophobic in large groups of people. I could never handle something like a wedding
Fraggle> I can do funerals because I want closure, but weddings? Yarg.
Lyme> yeah
Lyme> weddings are like funerals, anyway.
Fraggle> Only not as happy?

Quasadu> my cousin once told me he got an ingrown hair on his nipple
Lyme> the worst part is that like all ingrown hairs it turns into a big obnoxious pimply lookin thing that takes forever to go away.
ErynTzun> TMI
* HK-5000 (Zaboo@Chat4all-DA7CFC0D.dsl.elpstx.swbell.net) Quit (Quit: )
Lyme> that just made my nipples invert themselves
Lyme> you even scared hyper out of channel

Dainichi> http://images.evdb.com/images/medium/I0-001/000/096/554-8.jpeg *snicker*
Fraggle> That shirt scares me
Fraggle> Somehow Wil Wheaton wearing it makes it even scarrier
HK-5000> It makes it have more scars?
Fraggle> ....yes
Fraggle> heh
HK-5000> !
* HK-5000 noogies TEH FRAGGLE
Fraggle> I have scars out the wazzoo
Fraggle> Augh, noogies
HK-5000> NEW GEES!
* Fraggle grabs Hyper's arm and starts smacking him with it. Stop hitting yourself, stop hitting yourself.

Evan> http://www.cnn.com/2006/POLITICS/06/30/mayor.removal.ap/index.html
ErynTzun> He's done an all right job???
ErynTzun> On what planet is being a lying asshat all right? Oh, I keep forgettng.
ErynTzun> THe planet of the red neck idiots.
Evan> Can we go make our own country now?
ErynTzun> It sounds like the fucking Dukes of Hazzard or some shit.
Evan> I don't need any solid land, just make big raft.
Evan> We'll float off the coast of Chile.
ErynTzun> Yes, let's move to an uncharted island and we shall call it Sanevania.
Evan> I fear we're going to have immigration stresses.
ChiDoll> we can have a bakesale, and use the proceeds to buy the island
ChiDoll> electrified 10' razor wire fence? >.>
ErynTzun> We'll make brownies.
Evan> No real laws, just a a general rule: don't be an asshat.
ErynTzun> Then the minutemen can build our fence.
Evan> Or you're off the island!
Evan> Or something like that.
Evan> ...there's a reality show in this, I know it.
ErynTzun> We'd be our own reality tv show, only no tv.
ChiDoll> we could populate the waters immediately around the coast with man-eating sharks
ErynTzun> We'd shoot any cameramen on sight.
ChiDoll> and throw the asshats into the water
ChiDoll> ...with meat tied to their head.
ErynTzun> I say we have a ginormous attack beach ball
ErynTzun> like in the Prisoner
ErynTzun> Only ours would be rainbow colored
Evan> Sanevania, beautiful small land, surrounded with watery asshats.
Evan> Ooh.
ErynTzun> and shape liked a bunch of asses
ErynTzun> the beachball would be made of asshats!
Evan> Oh, no, it'll be a PAIR of islands.
Evan> In the shape of a giant rear.
ChiDoll> *snorkdie*
ErynTzun> oh
Evan> Perky cheeks.
ErynTzun> I knew you'd arrive there
ErynTzun> Our big weapon would be a giant fart
ChiDoll> we could have two main compounds, one on each side, shaped like hands/fingers. :D
ErynTzun> like Warior
ErynTzun> err Wario
Evan> Could have clever names for the different parts of Sanevania.
Evan> Like..."Left Cheek" and "Right Cheek".
ChiDoll> lol
Evan> I hear housing is cheap on the lower Left Cheek side.
ErynTzun> Watch out for the goatse weapon, wouldn't want to get hit with that. Better not be an asshat!
Evan> We'd probably get invaded by America, though. Harboring a weapon of mass destruction like that.
* ChiDoll wishes she had the program to make Sims 2 neighbourhoods from scratch, now.
ErynTzun> That makes you stink like a skunk?
Evan> Intercontinental Ballistic Flatus Missiles.
Evan> ICBFM
Evan> Ballistic Flatus. Now there's a band name.
ErynTzun> Areas known as the Flatus Lands would be off limits to anyone not wanting to shower 5 times to get the stink out.
Evan> I have a vision of fields of flatus crops from which we harvest the ammunition for our defensive weapon.
Evan> And I can't help but think of the Mythbusters where Adam catches his own farts.
ChiDoll> we must have a FSM church erected.

Dainichi> If I were a dude
Dainichi> I would grow a handlebar mustache.