x5060> oh a really funny thing i herard on tv
PauWow> what?
x5060> a comedian on a talk show was asked what 2 books he would take with him on a desert island
x5060> he replied "Well, the first one would be a big inflatable book, and the second would be 'how to make ores out of sand'"
x5060> i felt i had to share that with everyone

Bubblegoose> yotz hi
yotz> not you again, Bubblegoose
Bubblegoose> yotz frell you
yotz> frell you too Bubblegoose

PREDATOR> someone at the door, cant be bothered to answer it
PeaceKeeper Ramiu§> Door?
PeaceKeeper Ramiu§> My GOD man, you have DOORS!?!?!
PREDATOR> yeah
PREDATOR> lmao
PREDATOR> no
PeaceKeeper Ramiu§> What planet are you on!
PREDATOR> i usually use the sewers
PeaceKeeper Ramiu§> OMG! O.O
Mote> Without doors, how can you get the food from the take out delivery guys?
Bubblegoose> answer the door! it might be a pizza man with the wrong house!
PREDATOR> thats happened before Bubblegoose
PeaceKeeper Ramiu§> that's what we have moats and bridges for
PREDATOR> to my credit ^_-
PREDATOR> hrm
PREDATOR> Johova witness's
Bubblegoose> ah! kill em all!!!
PREDATOR> (i dont care about spelling)
Mote> Jumpin Johovasfat
* PREDATOR curses out of the open window
PauWow> Jehovah
PauWow> <-------wordweenie
* Bubblegoose chucks the cling wrap... now go wrap up those phreaks, and then theres always the neighbours trash can
PREDATOR> lmao!
PREDATOR> nah, thats too good for em
PREDATOR> how about a garbage dump?
PREDATOR> ^_-
Bubblegoose> only if its got one of those trash compactor things
Mote> No No... when they ask you if you have accepted the Lord yada yada, just say "Yes, and he told me He really hates you Guys that go door to door."

PauWow> I took this pic at Busch Gardens Tampa...two chimps on a rock, one picking his nose and the other playing with his ding-a-ling..had it blown up to poster size
Dr Bettina Tzun> LOL Pau has monkey porn
Dr Bettina Tzun> you need to scan that!
PauWow> lost the original pic
Dr Bettina Tzun> doh!
Dr Bettina Tzun> got a digital camera?
PauWow> yes, I do
Dr Bettina Tzun> take a pic of the poster!
PauWow> I gave it to my daughter..dont know if she still has it
PauWow> I have separate pics of the chimps though
Mote> Ahhh monkey porn... now theres some high art
PauWow> or one at least, not sure if its the nose picker or the dingdong twiddler
Mote> "ding dong twiddler"... now theres an expression Ill have to remember
PauWow> like that? I made it up myself!

* Mote just heard the Marylin Manson cover of "Tainted Love" cant that doofus leave stuff alone?
PauWow> I love the head bangin' remake of Let me call you Sweetheart
* Mote notices Marylin Mansons biggest hits are all covers of 80's songs
BialarCrais> MM the king of remixes
Mote> I actually heard a radio station get a call from an angry young girl after they played the original "Sweet Dreams" ... the girl was saying "I cant believe they ripped off M Manson like that!"

ChianaGray> you know your Chi-lee if you giggle,wiggle,grope,snerk,bounce,lick,spork and smooch

Eryn-Tzun> i've got a thingy

* Blackleatherchick needs to read more of Chi's dic's
O.o
EEEEEEPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!! NOOOOOOOOO
* Blackleatherchick hides behind the rafter beams
OH HO!!!!! BLC? something we need to know here? lol
ooooo just read what blc said
I meant FICS dammit, FICS
suuuuuuuure
* Artist tucks in Blackleatherchick's Freudian slip
* Blackleatherchick pulls off the d keys and chucks it over to nekkid scorpy
* John-Crichton® wonders when nakkid scorpy got in
Is nekkid Scorpy still in the corner?
* Blackleatherchick opens up her closet to show a whole row full o freudian slips
nekkid scorpy is ALWAYS in the corner *snicker*
* Artist recognizes a few of those slips
* Bloodwynd whistles at BLC's wardrobe.
* Blackleatherchick pulls them out and chucks them in the middle of the floor.......BURN BABY BURN

* Dainichi learned something...if I'm in a bad mood, Crikobu is in a bad mood. By the same token, if I'm hyper, Crikobu is hyper. So when I was all snarky cuz of that report, Crikobu was being snarky. I had pixie sticks earlier...I'm just thankful he crashed.

KILNA> I fell into a manhole once, but I think I've mentioned that here like five million times.

blchick> :) Lol, as long I'm not cuffed to any beds, I'm fine and dandy!!

Red-Fraggle> Anally raped with a cucumber, Hyper

Blackleatherchick> Wb CHI!!!! *LIIIIIIIIIICCCC.....O.o DAMNIT I pea-ed on the keyboard

Red-Fraggle> he's a sweetie when he's not a rapist

Lyme> Fraggle's petting zoo. And you KNOW what kind of petting...

Red-Fraggle> And when Fraggle's bad the whole room knows it, I think...
* Red-Fraggle has an orgasm
Filipina> when things get sticky it's fraggle's fault
* Mortaneous hands Fraggle another set of batteries

Lyme> ass-biting, ass-biting!
Lyme> From chicken sex to asses.

Dainichi> "The head must be kept stiff and erect."
Lyme> o_O

* HyperKinetic laughs at Batmanuel. "blah blah blah condom blah blah blah action"
Lyme> 'blah blah blah paternity suit'...
Lyme> Hyper wears Batmanuel underoos.
HyperKinetic> Batmanuel covers my ass
* Dainichi reads "Hyper wears Batmanuel underoos." and spits goldfish crumbs everywhere
HyperKinetic> BatManuel is DA MAN!
Lyme> Did you see the license plate of his car? "BATLOVE"

Lyme> I'M GIVING HEAD!
Lyme> I'M GIVING HEAD IN #FARSCAPE!
Lyme> YEW YOUNGINS! When I was yer age, I had to walk uphill both ways in the snow to give head!
Lyme> We didn't have dentures, we had to GUM ATCHA!

Lyme> You know what? My mom said - the funniest thing, to me, at least - tonight at dinner that if I didn't eat right I'd get scurvy. I had to stop myself from telling her that citroids can't POSSIBLY get scurvy.

* Evan smiles at Heather and whispers right back, "I love you, too"
* Lyme looks at Fraggle and Evan, then mutters something about punching her nuts off.
* Red-Fraggle lets out a content sigh and goes back into a snuggle
Evan> Punching /her/ nuts off?
SilvrWolf> "punching her nuts off"
Lyme> Yeah.
Lyme> "So cute I could punch my nuts off"
SilvrWolf> do you HAVE nuts? and if so can we see them>?
* Lyme has nuts.
* Lyme shakes her tin of cashews.
ebscaper> are they hazel or philberts?
SilvrWolf> she’s two cashews shy of a deck
Lyme> They're cashews.
Filipina> honeyglazed?
Lyme> They're SALTY. *snicker*
ebscaper> chocolate covered.
Lyme> LYME HAS SALTY NUTS!
SWolf75> honey glazed cashews? those wouldn't be very good . . .
Lyme> Lyme is also talking about herself in the third person again, silly fruit.
SilvrWolf> Owe glazed nuts, thast gotta hurt
* Evan licks Lyme's nuts. Hmm. I like 'em. I'll buy a pound.
ebscaper> lyme, salty nuts. all we need now is some tequila.
Red-Fraggle> O_o
* Lyme snerks so hard at Evan she falls off her chair.
Red-Fraggle> That like Chef's Salty Chocolate Balls?
Lyme> EEEEE! Chianite cooties! LOL
SilvrWolf> Shwetty Balls
Evan> Well, excuse /me/! I was /just/ trying to buy some nuts.
Lyme> Would anyone like to lick the salt off my nuts?
* Lyme shakes her tin innocently.
Red-Fraggle> Cuz you don't have any anymore, love?
Lyme> They're quite tasty
Lyme> They're planters!
SilvrWolf> ooo Planters
* Evan tackletickles Heather into submission.
SilvrWolf> well no, no.
ebscaper> who's Planter?
Evan> You're gonna give 'em back aren't ya.
* Red-Fraggle giggles like crazy, enjoying it immensly
ebscaper> and why do you have his nuts?
Lyme> Evan, once a woman has your balls, you never get em back.
SilvrWolf> Not true not true
Filipina> LOL
Lyme> ebs, cause they're just sooooo tasty.
Red-Fraggle> What Lyme said
*** PhantomStark has joined #Farscape
SilvrWolf> You just dont get em back as big as they used to be
Lyme> My nuts are so salty you need booze to wash em down.
SilvrWolf> Id need booze to even think about your nuts
Red-Fraggle> thing about once a woman's got yer balls you don't get 'imback
* Lyme cries. Someone ate half the can of nuts. Dammit.
Lyme> I bet it was my dad.
Lyme> Grrr.
Lyme> Now I have to go to the store tomorrow.
* Red-Fraggle gives Lyme some peanuts
Lyme> But, they're not cashews!
Lyme> ooo, waitaminnit. We have pistachios! YEEEES!
Red-Fraggle> I used to snicker my ass off at the word "peanuts"

* Blackleatherchick used to cack herself when she was asked for a rubber in 3rd or 4th grade

Lyme> It's funny, everyone at my apartment complex my age had mouths so dirty that we coulda been in R rated movies.
Lyme> And we threw clumps of mud off of balconies at each other. And pottery.

PauWow> I had an exchange student from Iran living with us when I was a child..she moved in and was asking where things were..asked where are the shits kept? my mom showed her the bathroom..she said..no no the shits..the leeeenans!!!!!
Lyme> 'where are the shits kept'? ... *snerk*

* CountessBoobula gives Evan a hello mutilation
Lyme> Wow, casual mutilation. That so rocks.
Evan> Oh yes. I /am/ loved here.

* CountessBoobula wants photomaniped drd porn to spice up the stories.
Lyme> Boobie... don't look at me.

* Blackleatherchick approaches Mnementh's drooping body.
* Blackleatherchick turns into a dragon and eats Mnementh's head.
* Mnementh returns from his visit to the BBoard, sees his headless body for a second time tonight... *Sigh* ...
Blackleatherchick> Sorry Mnem, I didn't think it'd be that bad
* Mnementh starts tickling BLC from the inside with that dragon tongue... as she kakks up his head...
* Blackleatherchick giggles.......dragon slobber!!!
* ChiDoll liiiiiiickles chick... ;)
* Blackleatherchick now has chi and dragon slober on her
* farx lays out fresh toerls for those who've been slobbered...or who've washed up
* Mnementh stalks over, picking up his head and reattaching it... curling around, he cracks his neck... *Craaaaaack...crackcrackcrack...* Ahhhh..... much better... ;)

Lyme> Hey, blc, your assie is showing.
Lyme> ER!
Lyme> I MEAN AUSSIE!
Lyme> *snerk*
Lyme> Really, honestly, that wasn't a freudian slip!

* Blackleatherchick fears and detests Chis QL
* Lyme luuuuuvs Chi's QL too, and not in a platonic way, *hump*.

Visionz> the car is having an orgasm!!

Lyme> I thought fraggle was gonna put her face in your cleavage and make sounds.
CountessBoobula> Yes Lyme. We can make care sounds while I ride you like a pony
Lyme> You make car noises, I make barking noises, okay?
* Lyme snickers, cause she knows this is on Chi's QL
CountessBoobula> While Frags sticks her face in my clevage and make her own noisies.

Lyme> We're psychos, but we're GOOD at tit.
Lyme> er, IT.
* Lyme snickers.
Lyme> we're also good at tits.

* talyn humps the bull, "why, what manly teats you have" *giggles*

* Blackleatherchick grabs ChiDoll and kisses him kangaroo style (jumping up and down) and makes him want the boomarang style kiss(the one that keeps coming back!) gotta luv us aussies!!!
eeep, not him!!!
* Blackleatherchick whaps her popup on the head.....O.o wait that don't sound too good

* CountessBoobula makes car sounds while she rides Lyme like pony and Lyme gives head. LOL
Lyme> Chi, you made me wet.
Lyme> And not in a good way.
* Lyme barks for Dani
CountessBoobula> Vrrooooommmmmmmm eeeeeerrrrmmmmmmeeeeee brrrrroooooooo
Lyme> btw, who am I giving head to?
CountessBoobula> A DRD. :)
Lyme> LOL!
Lyme> Hello Mr. Penis. Nice to meet you.
Lyme> STOP STARING AT ME!
* Mortaneous blinks
* PhantomStark stares at Lyme.
* Mortaneous keeps filming
* Lyme laffs so hard she chokes on her own spit and dies.
CountessBoobula> Pony died. :(
* Lyme thinks this is a more embarrassing situation to die in than Elvis, sitting on the can.
Visionz2> now who are teh DRDs gonna play with?
Mortaneous> oops...
skexy> is that really spit? or even your own?
Lyme> Look, Mort, it turned into a snuff film!

* Blackleatherchick is glad chi missed the insluts comment

Mortaneous> Lyme... odd... even my dong doesn't do that
Mortaneous> ...and freud's been tapdancing one my keyboard again
* EndersShadow most certainly hopes Mort's dong doesn't lick the keyboard

Bug> Uh. Fraggle /is/ Satan.
Bug> You should see her in her fuckmepants.
Lyme> she has fuckmepants?
Bug> Yep.
Bug> They're black patent leather that have flame licking up the legs.
* Lyme is scared.
Lyme> I don't have fuck-me anything.
Lyme> Not even underwear.
Bug> Lyme, you have a fuck-me ass.
PKDainichi> I've got fuck-me heels.
Lyme> oh, great. I have a fuck-me ass. Bring on the anal sex fiends.

Lyme> Fuck me, I don't care if she's dead, for that pic, I'd commit necrophilia

* Blackleatherchick needs more doof brb
Blackleatherchick> ummm......food
Mote> Theres plenty of doofs in here... whyd she leave?

Dainichi> O_o OHGODNO. Now I've got this mental image of Aeryn screwin with one of Talyn's DRDs while she was drunk and mourning...

PKDainichi> I need a hairbrush with a longer handle.

*** SantaClaus has joined #Farscape
* Lyme stabs SantaClaus
Lyme> DIE YOU FAT RED BASTARD!
SantaClaus> HO HO HO Merry Christmas
SpiritWolf> NO!!
* SpiritWolf grabs SantaClaus and tosses them onto the Sacrificial Table and ties them to it so they may not escape.
* SpiritWolf takes out his Blood Dagger and starts saying over the helpless victim the words " Oh Mighty Barbie Claws . Accept this offering of Death from your Loyal Servents hands."
* SpiritWolf stabs the Victim in the heart.
* SpiritWolf then twists the dagger ever so violently.
SpiritWolf> Welcome to Hell.
* Lyme beats Santa with a stocking full of quarters
SantaClaus> I'm not fat I'm big boned
* SpiritWolf guts SantaClaus
SpiritWolf> nope.. it's fat
Lyme> Yer a fat red BASTARD cause you STOLE MY COOKIES, BITCH!
SantaClaus> what??
Lyme> DIE!
* SpiritWolf pulls out SantaClaus's stomach
Lyme> <-- not allowed near mall santas since the 'incident'.
SantaClaus> there can be worse things that Santa
Lyme> Okay, I lied. There is no incident.
Lyme> I'm just making myself seem more psychotic than usual
ChiDoll> i didn't hurt any Santas... i peed on one, though. *snerk*
*** SantaClaus has quit IRC ((signed off))
SpiritWolf> i was getting hungry though...
SpiritWolf> HEY TUB-O-LARD!! GET BACK HERE!!
Lyme> I think I need to find some nativity scene around here and set fire to it.
*** BritneySpears has joined #Farscape
BritneySpears> This is worse than Santa
Lyme> NO SANTAS!
*** Lyme has quit IRC ((signed off))
*** Anti-Claus has joined #farscape
* Anti-Claus growls

Lyme> I cannot help the thoughts of hobbit slash dancing in my head.
Lyme> Get the HOBBIT SLASH OUT OF MY HEAD.
Bug> Dude! FRODO LOOKED LIKE HE NEEDED TO BE VIOLATED BY A TENTACLE BEAST!
Bug> Oh. Wait. He was. My bad.
Bug> I mean, someone NEEDED to slam him up the arse!
Lyme> OH, great. GREAT. This is not helping get rid of the hobbit slash mental images, damn you

Bug> I WANT A NAKED HORNY ARAGORN CLONE! Did I mention?
Bug> Lyme?
Lyme> Yeeeees?
Lyme> Are you asking me for a nekkid horny aragorn clone?
Bug> Wanna share?
Lyme> What do I look like, Go - oh, wait. Heh.
Bug> You are God, idiot.
Lyme> I forgot.
Lyme> HEY, DAMMIT. I never said I was infallible!
Bug> YES YOU DID!
Bug> It's there in the FREAKING BIBLE.
Lyme> When?
Bug> Don't you read your OWN BOOK!?
Lyme> But I didn't write it!
Bug> So?
Lyme> Some monkeys ghostwrote it for me.
Bug> Those monkeys had issues with homosexuality.
Lyme> Y'know. Monkeys, infinity, typewriters, hamlet. I mean, The bible.
Bug> Some of 'em didn't like that other guys got their rocks off with other guys.
Lyme> Yeah, well, I'm cheap. I didn't hire very GOOD monkeys.
Bug> You need to rewrite it. And especially put: 'And Elijah Wood needs to be rammed up the ass. Repeatedly.'
Bug> For being a pretty boy poof.
Lyme> I was busy smiting and raining down brimstone and stuff.
Lyme> Buuuggggggh. Such hostility towards Elijah Wood.
Bug> No Aragorn for you.
Lyme> Damn.
Bug> He looks like a little girl!
Bug> A LITTLE GIRL WITH BIG BLUE EYES. It's SCARY.
SpiritWolf> Airo Porn?
Lyme> Yah, his eyes are freaky.
Bug> So, of course...if he offered...I'd /so/ have sex with him.
Bug> But only if he offered.
Lyme> lol
Lyme> Big eyes freak me out.
Lyme> So why the hell do i like anime?
Bug> Dude. Can you imagine eyes that pretty looking at /you/ during romantic sex?
Lyme> Uhm... no.
Bug> I mean...wild steamy window-breaking sex is for Aragorn.
Bug> Anyhow. Sam's for awkward first-time, not quite sure, really sweet sex. And then you snuggle with him and keep him forever.
Bug> 'cuz he's a sweetie PIE.
Bug> Anyhow. Arwen is for...why is this goregous girl going down on me? sex.
Bug> I wouldn't have sex with Galadriel. WAy too regal.
* Lyme wants to hear Bug's dwarf sex. Heh.
Bug> Uh. I wouldn't touch him with /yours/.
Bug> Anyhow. Who else. Boromir would be good for really bitter sex.
Lyme> bitter sex? Heh.
Lyme> Bitter how? Bitter is such a wide emotion
Bug> Legolas would be good for OH MY /GOD/ religious sex.
Bug> Well, you know. You have a relationship, have no sex. break up, have amazing bitter breakup sex.
Lyme> That's what I'm sayin, goddammit.
Lyme> Ohhh. Okay.
Lyme> Cause there's bitter revenge sex, too.
Bug> Oh. Ooooh. That'd be good, too.
Bug> Who else is there?
Lyme> 'I'm having sex with you to piss him off' sex.
Lyme> uh
Bug> Merry and Pippin were okay. One night stand.
Juliett7> "Im having sex to get over you " sex
Lyme> No one, unless you want more hobbit sex or wizard sex
Bug> Ugh. No wizard sex.
* Bug runs to find her copy of X-Men.
Lyme> You have to look at them staffs and wonder if they're overcompensating for something. Heh.
Lyme> Well, of course
Lyme> if you're really twisted
Lyme> you could have gollum sex.
Lyme> or orc sex.
Bug> I forget. Who is Arwen's mother in the books?
* Lyme snickers.
Bug> UGH!!!!
Bug> I think one of the dredlocked guys was the ugly dredlocked guy from Xema.
Bug> Xena
* Lyme thinks.
Lyme> Elrond sex? Bilbo sex? Who else is left?
* Lyme thinks Bilbo sex would be like incestual grandpa sex. Eew.
Bug> Elrond? ew!
Bug> "Welcome to Rivendell, Mr. Anderson." That's all I'd think.
Lyme> Frodo, the matrix has you.

Lyme> You can't slash the fantasy bible, goddammit!
Artist> nothing is sacred
* Artist builds a temple to nothing
* Lyme worships nothing in Artist's temple.

Bug> I repeat. Elijah Wood needs to be violated.
Lyme> Bug, violator of innocents.
Bug> Me? No, he needs a biker to do it.
Bug> Or Gimli.
Lyme> Yeah, but you'd be there taping.
Bug> No, Red would.
Lyme> You'd orchestrate the whole thing, admit it.
Bug> I'd be collecting admission.

* Bug used to go trolling in #christiansingles.
Bug> It was funny!
Lyme> I used to troll in #christian
Lyme> Back on DALnet
Bug> Wanna go trolling, Lyme?
Lyme> I got kickbanned in less than 1 minute
Lyme> It was a contest in #atheism: Who can stay in #christian the longest

* ChiDoll belatedly giggles at Mnem tickling her teeheee!
* EndersShadow wonders if he would want his teeheee tickled or if he even has a teeheee

Lyme> "God WAS my copilot... but we crashed in the mountain and I had to eat him."
sundance> So that is how u became god
Lyme> YES
Lyme> I became god because I ate the other one's heart and absorbed his power
Lyme> it's a freaky, ancient mesopotamian type thing.

Lyme> We are Lyme of Borg. Prepare to be - OOOOOH! SHINY!

Curufea> Don't know why they class it as "Adult" - it's teens that are the crazed sex-monkeys..

* skexy has trouble picturing girraffes in leather panties.......and other lingerie......I guess it's a good sign that these images don't come easily......

* BoobulaChrist scootches up to BirthdayBug "Hey baby, we were born only a day apart. Wanna give God some grandkids?"
BirthdayBug> Dani, you're going to hell.
BoobulaChrist> Ain't I? :)

* DawgieClaus is making Barb's dinger go off? I thought that was a good thing?

* Tes†amen† is buzzin
MerryMotemas> I told you about smoking the mistletoe....